Throughout my career in the military, I have ran into many spouses who feel this way. I have spouses who tried to give me orders and tell me that they know more about the military than I do, even though I happen to outrank their husbands. I have seen military spouses demand salutes from servicemembers, attempt to give orders to the other spouses and servicemembers. Last I checked, spouses don't warrant a rank or subjected to the UCMJ.|||That's funny, my sister and I were having this conversation the other day. We decided that these people define themselves by what their husbands do for a living. It's common for military wives because it's so much harder for them to have their own careers. It's kind of sad, and really annoying.|||Wow that sounds so stupid.Really what are they thinking.Dam Im going to have to look for to this.Thats sucks.Im probably going to be looked down on because my husband just joined so he is a pretty low rank.Well I promise to all the military and spouses out there that I will never do that when and if my husband makes it to a very high rank.I think its stupid.Those ignorant women have not been in your shoes.If they have they probably would'nt be acting like that.I being a new Army wife expect Respect from everyone I meet but not salutes or anything like that just courtesy.|||i'm an army spouse and former soldier. i have met other spouses that act "better" than the rest of us, but i don't pay them much attention. i show the same respect to everyone that i would want shown to me. some army wives try to wear their husbands ranks, i don't really care. i do believe they should be respected like everyone else regardless if they're a private or LTC wife. some have put in in just as much time as the soldier has. they do deserve something for that. it's not easy.|||thats bizarre! and kindah funny........military wives/husband's even though they're not in, have to live the life of the spouse that does serve.......but to have them salute????? lolololo give me a break they don't know the meaning behind the gesture of a salute..........it's done to show there are no weapons in hand.........lololol wow|||You have got to be kidding me about the salutes. Please tell me you're kidding.
My hubby is in the military. Not me.
I don't play with the wives who believe they wear the rank....and lots do. The other wives I don't play with are the cheaters, the drinkers or the gossipers.
We have 4 boys, so I have enough to do without getting involved with drama.|||It is an un-written tradition. If you disrespect a Generals wife then she tells her husband the General and heads will roll. But that also occurs in the civilian world. The bosses wife in many ways has the same clout as her husband.|||Actually, being a MA, I have run into this also. Yes it's usually officer wives that do this. The thing about the cars, because of D.O.D. decals the guard is supposed to salut the approaching car if an officer decal is noticed. This is a courtesy, With the DOD decal system, the base locator sticker is Red for enlisted, Blue for officer, Green for civilian employee, white for contractor. So the salute rendered to the car showing respect for the possibility that an officer not in uniform might be in the car. But yes, I have worked in the pass and decal office, and there are wives that think because their husband is an officer they are afforded the same courtesies as officers. I had an officer call me and attempt to chew me out over the phone because I wouldn't give base decals to his wife. I merely let him talk to my superior, when the my superior got off the phone, I told him the facts of the matter, and he just said, too tough.|||Don't know, but when i was FAP'ed to the Military Police at the front gate of Camp Lejeune as a LCpl, it wasn't just the wives, but kids too. Tell some major's daughter she can't come aboard because her registration is expired and all you hear is "Do you know who my father is?"
Nope, and don't care.
Man it was irritating!|||I don't know why spouses are like this, but I completly agree with your statement.|||I dont know, but i hate it you see them all the time driving around in their husbands car and waiting for you to salute them as they drive by, yes ill give them respect but not the full respect as i give there husband, there just a civillan.|||it's a fallacy to declare that the majority of military spouses wear their spouses' rank. when you thinkof the hundred's of thgousands of spouses out there, can you HONESTLY say that the few dozen or so that you have encountered that are like that represent the majority?!
the funny part, the ones I have encountered that exhibit this trait.. are senior enlisted spouses..E6-E8. NOT the Officer Spouses.|||I completely agree with you. Cant say it is a majority, but the one that do this make enough of a bad name to give all a bad name.
Seen many egregious examples in my career. Such as the commander wife that insisted that a female captain in the squadron do more to support the "Officers Wives Club".
Her response was point blank, "I'm not an Officers wife, I'm an Officer".
Best example was a SNCOs wife that tried to tell a SSgts wife that she should associate with the other wives, not the SNCOs wives. Not realizing that she was a GS-13 Civil Servant and outranked everyone in the squadron including the commander.|||well i have never done that lol..i am just a normal girl and i laugh if somone calls me maam lol..like when i went on base for a doctors appointment..i had to laugh|||they'e nothing more than glorified camp followers..ignore them|||This is a holdover from the old days when the US Army was a small organization.
This tends to happen among officers wives because they seem to think it is important.
If you were to go to a function that the officers wives had they would be seated by the order of their husbands rank.
I don't know that this still serves any purpose but they used to take care of each other ant the wives of the enlisted men when the troops were deployed.
The only source I have for this information was an aunt that dealt with this back in the 1950's.|||You need to get out more often then. They are the MINORITY in this.
And if you do run across them, it's pretty darn simple---you either ignore or let them know that they hold no rank and walk away.|||Spouses are expected to "conform" to the rank of the husband,That means they have to act the part , take the lead if need be. There is also the unwritten rule that they deserve the respect of the officer, not the rank. Most line officers wives,housewives, act and treat others with tact and consideration. There are always some with noses in the air or who think their poop don't smell.|||I could see a correlation between high ranking officers and wealthy businessmen and their wives who think they can do what they want because of their husband's position|||As a military brat growing up, I used to see the "Well gosh, I think I'll put my husband's rank on MY shoulders today!" all the time. Officer wives always tried to boss my mother around because my dad was a lower rank than their husband. Heck-as a military spouse now-I see it more than ever.
My experience as well as my mother's, has always, ALWAYS happened with the wives of officers. The spouces who demand salutes from service memebers...have gone too far. I think those who do this believe that since their husband or wife is higher ranking compared to the others surrounding them at times, they deserve the same respect as he/she does. With them it's pretty much: "You do this or I can and will report you!".
I'm sorry - but spouses are all the same. With gender and racial differences aside, the only rank we hold is either Mr. or Mrs.
We have no entitlement to our sponsor's military rank.|||You should have rendered the appropriate greeting...a one finger salute. I could only imagine how she ran back to her husband to complain, and to see the look of embarrasmaent on his face. Dependents do not rate a salute because of their husband's military status...however...the strange thing is that technically, when they drive through post, the little blue sticker does rate a salute from enlisted military members, and I want to emphasize the "blue sticker" not the dependent. Then again unless they are entering the gate, that's the only time they may expect see a salute from the enlisted gate guard. Nobody else walks around paying attention to people's stickers. It sounds to me that you would be doing her a service by educating her of what her place is, and what the salute represents, and how it is "earned" not given.|||A lot of military spouses don't wear the (military members)spouses rank. It is usually those spouses whose military member has gained status as a commander or senior enlisted member. Those spouses believe that now they have the right/duty/position to demand what is due them. The military members have forgotten that they are responsible for the family. If the military wanted you to have a husband/wife, they would have issued you one used to be an old saying.
I agree with the poster, some spouses have demanded salutes, but to that I say, when you go through the school, get the training, do some field work and gain MY respect...then MAYBE...MAYBE you might be worthy of a salute.|||I ignore these wenches. And if they push it, I file EO complaints against them. =)
You should see how mad they get when they begin investigations for this...LoL|||I agree with you except for one thing. I wouldn't say the majority. I would say some.
***EDIT: Thelightedtorch, you may find this interesting. Up until around 1980, ALL military wives were saluted at Camp Lejeune's gates. It didn't matter whether the sticker was red or blue. I don't know why it got started or if they did it anywhere other than Lejeune. The practice stopped because they were also saluting enlisted WM's not in uniform thinking they were wives.|||I've seen some military wives behave in that manner. It is unacceptible for any spouse--whatever her husband's rank--to give orders as though she were in command. (Or vice versa if the wife is the servicemember.)
Some people are just plain rude, and would treat others poorly whatever their spouse's position--it is not purely a military thing.
No, we don't wear the uniform, and we're not subject to the UCMJ, but military spouses are an integral part of the military support structure and are subjected to a great deal of stress and frustration--particularly during deployments and frequent PCSs.
So yes, there are some bad apples out there... There ALWAYS are bad apples, no matter where you go. But I find it hard to believe the majority of military wives you've met have treated you so poorly.|||I never experienced that while I was active duty. We did have the dependents whine about the time our favorite soap opera came on (dinner hour), but the commander said the TV programming was geared to the active duty, not the spouses. I guess I did meet one such woman who may have been like that but he divorced her so she was soon a non issue.|||thanks for the laugh!
what do you expect from people who refuse to think for themselves and prefer to receive "orders"
